Week Two: Buttons? What Buttons?

Okay, I wrote stuff down for this on my computer post-its, so it's roughly worded but here it is:


- Buttons: "this is unacceptable!!" (happens with the dogs!)
- Me: A: Acting like I've hurt them when I'm angry or frustrated or disappointed or feeling any strong emotion
B: Beliefs: They're not allowing me room to be true to my emotions - it's THEIR problem if they're hurt
....but with a kid, I think it's okay to teach them that!....
D: Disputes: they ARE scared, and can be encouraged to be brave in the face of my energy and emotion (probably best AFTER the emotion has defused)
- DH: A: Hitting others (incl us, in fact, mostly us)...be gentle with people
- Me: ignoring the rules, when I think they've been clearly set
Having someone act like I'm unclear when I think I've been really careful about clarity.
Beliefs: I've twisted my brain into an uncomfortable posiiton to get the information they need, without enjoying it, and now they're telling me the effort wasn't worthwhile?!?!?
Belief: I chose that method of communication because I've been told it was the right way to do it, and now you're telling me that the beliefs I was taught are wrong?!?!?
Belief (of the past): They're deliberately taunting me, or trying not to understand! Being obtuse, obstinate!
C: consequence: i get really angry, kindof furious that they're not even paying attention or listening!!!
D: dispute: maybe my "clarity" really didn't make sense to them...what else could I do to be clear? Ask them what they need to be clear....
E: encourage
- Me: Mimicking!! (thankfully, Fiora doesn't really do this, at least not yet)
B: This is mocking, OR this is telling someone they're not really in the moment.
This is belittling.
C: I get horribly defensive. I feel belittled. I don't want others to treat ANYBODY that way.
D: dispute: maybe it's an indication of confusion, or defiance...???
E: encourage