Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Week Two: the doorway to the dogs

Buttons were kindof easy to think of fast, not so much because our two year old pushes them, but because my dogs have pushed them. And something crazy happened when I listed the buttons, and extrapolated about them: when the dogs pushed them, I didn't get emotional about it! Oh-my-goddess, what a blessing that was! And in return, especially with the work of next week, they have been so much more responsive to me - I think there was one night in particular, where i broke through by asking myself what did I REALLY want, and the answer was a relationship with the dogs. Yep, there's my theme! Not the power position that I thought I wanted, not authority, but a relationship on which to base leadership would be good....
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3 comments:

  1. BreathebeastFebruary 5, 2010 at 3:05 AM

    Ooh...just realized tonight, as I'm putting off going back to bed (middle-of-the-night wanderings happening here), that I'm really resisting more engaging in activities that I feel will trigger my buttons...like, I'm kindof choosing to set MYSELF up for success. *grin* I LIKE that. Especially the resisting part...the more I recognize those buttons, the more I realize those crazy emotions are off-base, the more I DON'T want to go there.

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  2. BreathebeastFebruary 7, 2010 at 5:38 PM

    Another rewarding day with the dogs today - my dogs are reactive to other dogs, so usually when we see another dog, I stop when that other dog is abou 100 feet or so away and ask the dogs to lie down,then I kneel down with them with a calm hand on each dog's wither region so I can feel them try to get up even if I'm distracted visually. It works like a charm when I do it right, and always draws compliments (from people who have had to endure lunging, barking dogs, I'm sure!). So, it's a win-win situation. Still, I'd love to be able to actually WALK by another dog someday - may not happen, but I'm starting to think about it again.

    So, with my new-found knowledge, today we were walking over 200 feet behind a couple with a black lab who had raised its hackles and barked and lunged a wee bit when it passed my fabulously behaved, lying-down dogs. Naturally, my reactive dogs were vISUALLY GLUED onto that dog in front, and straining at the leashes a bit. So...I just reinforced what we had been doing. If they pull, I stop and give them space to come back to heel position (a gentle reminder if they seem too spaced out). And...with some time, and me not invested in getting right, and hence no frustrationg coming through...they both started walking on slack leads!!! Now, they were still visually straining to see the other dog, BUT they were self-controlled enough to stay with me and notice where I was - it was GREAT!

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 16, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    This is amazing. Thank you for bringing my awareness to how this applies with the dogs! HUGE aha.

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