Week Seven: Relationships

So, here are the two personal stories I've been wanting to share. There's not much in the way of real stories about them, really, and not much in the way of "results" the way we usually look at them, but they were powerful moments that mean much more to me as a sign of results in the way we're interacting.

The first was with my poodle. He's the one who chases our beloved cat. Yesterday he stood in the hallway (the power point of the house, where 4 rooms/hallways/stairs cross) while the tabby walked through - dog stared, but didn't show any aggressive body signs. Now, this isn't exactly unusual. For some reason Catterpault is much more vulnerable to attracting aggression when he's sitting still than when he's walking around. Not that it keeps him from socializing with us - he's a brassy, wonderful cat. At any rate, rather than using my "power voice" to get Nimbletoes to lie down, I found myself sinking down on my knees in appreciation of his moments of self-control, and telling him sweet nothings, and he sank his head into my chest and I gave him a shoulder massage (his favorite, but not something he gets often). It was lovely. He followed me around all morning, we were in a good place. I want to do it again.

Of course, that night he was all eyes for the cat (!), and we did have to ask him to lie down and self-restrain. But I find myself looking for times to deepen our relationship, and my chance to admire him (especially in the presence of the cat).

The second was with my daughter. As I've mentioned before, she doesn't really like to be read to. I thought that might be a power thing, but I'm starting to wonder if she doesn't feel connected to. I thought the offer to read was connection enough, but I may be wrong. Haven't had a chance to explore that yet. At any rate, last night she was watching The Wiggles right before bed (still went to bed smoothly), and I slipped over on the sofa to sit with her. Normally that's all I do, and she's not terribly responsive. Last night, I realized this as I shifted over and no connection like I was (and have always) imagined happened. And I shifted my focus to just "being" with Fiora, to sharing her space and appreciating her presence (who knows what my focus was before, to do the right thing or something)...and by the gods, she knew it. She glanced at me, and then shifted her body right back so she was resting up against me. It was such a sweet moment to be part of.

Did I say I love this stuff?