Week Six: Did she always whine this much?

I don't really feel like blogging tonight, but i like how it keeps me on track, keeps me focused, so here I am.

Anyway, she's been getting more and more noticeably whiny, at least at home. I'm just starting to wonder in what ways I've been rewarding this behavior, and vowing to start ignoring it (in a few days - I'm kindof curious what I've been doing, though! I think I HAVE been cuddling her when she whines or gets frustrated...oops. I kNEW I was going to have trouble with this, though...). The first concrete step has been just asking her to ask in a different voice before giving her something she's asked for. After I've done that for a few days, I'll feel more comfortable about just ignoring it. Oh, and spending more energy really connecting!

And can I just say, she still amazes me with what she learns if given the right information, and the time and space to figure things out. She burnt her hand (no permanent burn, just hurt it) in hot water from the sink while "washing dishes" the other night. So I showed her which direction to pull/push the handle for cooler water, and put her stool on that side so shed be likely to make it cold (she can barely reach the handle, so this help is sortof crucial). Now, she checks the water when it first comes on! NEVER thought I'd teach this bold child to do that, certainly didn't work with the warnings I can't avoid saying, but she's got it - and it wasn't any teaching that did it. Experience is such a good teacher.

I also have been asking her to not turn the water on full blast - she spends ages at the sink when she's washing dishes, and I get antsy if it sounds like she's using lots of water. Twenty-four hours later, and she's getting really good at regulating the water speed, even though she can HARDLY reach the handle to work with it. She finesses it, and if she accidentally turns it off, she'll repeat her attempt 6 times without getting frustrated as she works on it.

I wonder if MY sense of frustration as she's working on things (not because I have to get anywhere, but more sympathetic frustration) is something she picks up when I'm watching her. Would make some sense about why she doesn't like to read to me very often.... Hm, will percolate on this. Kindof feels like the idea of making space for every thing, every moment in my life, not pushing the moment with expectations. Funny how hard it is to be in my zen mind when Fiora is having a hard time with something...but I know I DO want her to learn that she can make it through tough moments. You know, I was even talking to Brian about how much I loved the idea of her having challenges from just normal life. It reminded me of all the kids books I've read in which the hero is orphaned somehow, and then faces all these challenges on her or his own and overcomes them. Of course I've wanted that experience soemtimes! Weird how much I want to protect her from, what, herself? Getting discouraged so she can get over it? Well, I don't get this still, but I feel like I got a clue from "zen mind" comment above - it's okay to NOT TAKE RESPONSBILITY FOR HER CHALLENGES (wow, there's some clarity), and to be there for support.