Week Six: The crucial C's, but this is about a button

Dang. So much awesome stuff going on, and then I let a button EXPLODE! Ah, well, I guess sometimes it's about triggering some self-exploration.

Fiora got her markers last night to color with. Personally, I prefer crayons, they don't make a mess all over her hands that gets transferred to toilet and walls and clothing. But I gotta admit, she was making some beautiful stuff with the vivid marker colors. and this girl LOVES to color/draw.

So, this morning she threw herself right into it again. Wanted some paper on the floor, so down it went. Then wanted to color on a card (I'd bought some for valentine's day,and there were extras, just plain white cards). Fine. Then I realized she was had the card on the cedar chest that my father's dear friend made for him. So i popped off to grab another big sheet of paper to put under her cards. And she went dramatic with screams of "I don't want it!", and pushing the paper away.

And MY button got pushed.
A: Someone being upset when I'm being helpful.
B: She doesn't appreciate me.
In this case, she's done this a thousand times before (drawn on something on top of a big sheet of white paper, she drew all her other cards while there on top of a big sheet of white paper), so she's being irrational and obstructive!
C: I got angry. Yep, I yelled. *sigh*
D: You know, she gets really focused when she's drawing.
And you know what else, she's not great at transitions anyways.
AND she got to bed late last night, so her transitions may be even tougher.
Maybe I wasn't very clear about what I was going to do, maybe she thought I was going to take her card away without so much as a by your leave?
E: ?

So, after I yelled, she said she didn't want to color her card anymore (who can blame her?!?!), and she cried and I picked her up and tried to explain myself...but I don't recall apologizing for yelling. *sigh again*

So, tonight I apologize and ask her if she's okay (that's our protocol, adopted from a friend and her daycare provider). Even if she doesn't remember it by then, it won't hurt. And if she does, well, it's appropriate.

And next time? If this happened again, I BET I could've (1) stopped; (2) breathed deeply; and (3) thought (this is from Blue's Clues!), then put the paper halfway on and asked Fiora to put it under her card. Then REMEMBER that when she says no, often she's really just asking for space so she can make the choice herself. And I bet she would've put it under the card herself. And peace and happiness would reign. Of course, maybe not, and then I could've just washed the markers off. 'Cause (embarrassed) they were actually washable markers.... (should put a bag over my head about now....)