Week One: Do Nothing, Say Nothing

This wasn't a big deal in our house, but I didn't really follow it, either. Fi is only 2 years old, and we try to base our training largely on modeling the appropriate behavior (though we're getting to the age of more tantrums and more messes, and I'm ready for some guidance!). I was not willing to let her bedtime slip, as that makes us all miserable (and she would stay up LATE on her own).

I kindof do a mild version of do nothing say nothing in the household as it is. I HATE nagging, I hate the idea of taking that task on, it seems so hateful to both individuals. So, DH has his own sections of the house (his office, the den, his side of the bedroom) where he can make as much of a mess, leave as many dirty dishes around as he wants, and it's NOT MY PROBLEM. Ah, I love that. Though occasionally I'll sweep the den up if company is coming.

Same with Fi. We ask her to put her books back, and to get her own bowl when she asks for snacks - though the bowl fetching so she can get food works lots better than putting books back! But I don't tend to clean up her messes but once or maybe twice a week - I don't like how angry it can make me (I don't like cleaning up after others), so I just don't do it as a rule.

With DH, I've been amazed how well this has worked. Every few months I might express how a dirty kitchen stresses me out, and each time his help in the kitchen really increases in small but significant and gracious ways (we also have a schedule for who cooks when, and who cleans up when, which clarified things a lot and decreased upset feelings!).