Week nine: Back to roadmaps - bedtime progress

Last night was a great example of progress, both on Fiora's part and on mine. Though it was undoubtably helped along by the fact that Fiora was really tired due to coughing spells shes been having at night (on the other hand, I felt a bit at a disadvantage due to decreased sleep, so perhaps we were even overall).

Pajamas and nighttime diaper are the first step. Tonight, I invited her to engage in the process of putting those on, and she actually accepted. (Most nights we avoid a fight here by changing her resistance into a chase-game.) It would've not worked if I'd insisted on putting them on, but I know enough now to step back and let her ask for help if she wants it. She was very happy with the whole process.

Then it was tooth brushing time - pretty peaceful, though she got distracted with a wet rag. All I can remember about that was thinking "dang, should've put that away!" and "it's not worth getting fussed about a little delay" - and somehow she was ready to move on with a little suggestion I made and can't even remember. But I think letting go of having to be UNDELAYED allowed us to move on without engaging in "battle" strategies!

Finally it was time to read books. We said goodnight to the others. And Fi started USING the routine to let me know she was tired. She started to read the book (first read), just a few pages, then said "your turn." (Too tired to read!) After the book was done, though, as usual, she had trouble transitioning to the bed, didn't want to help with anything tonight. So...I started doing the other bits of our routine, closing the blinds, etc., until she asked to help (or screamed a bit, really)...rather than forcing her to bed. How nice to have options, and to be learning that giving her space and providing good rewarding options for her can get us where we want to go fairly painlessly!

Finally, after she closed the blinds, closed the door, and turned off the lights, I got to hold her and talk about the story of her day...and she is now adding her perspective on her day (sometimes it's a lot about having "big poops" and "stairs", but it's so cool to hear her version anyway!), and she was ready for bed after feeling empowered. It's getting easier, even though I know it'll still be different every night!