Proud Mama

Today was a great day. Much better than it had any right to be.

First off, we were starting from a night where I spent one hour sleeping in my bed after a day filled with pain (nasty virus, sore in all my joints) and at work; then 6 slightly broken hours in Fiora's toddler bed after she fell out of bed and could not be comforted. Secondly, I was (and still am) recovering from that nasty virus.

But the good news? I'd just written a post that touched on dealing with days when I feel tired and sick. So I was ready.

And I made myself proud. Woke up, felt the tug towards the habitual self-pity and mild resentment of others who don't have it as bad as I do right now (ie, beloved spouse, possibly child and pets), recognized that it was not terrifically enjoyable or useful behavior, and decided to make a choice about my goal for today. (That's where the resistance was.) I chose that my vision, my goal for today was to build my relationship with Fiora.

And the whole day lightened. I was SO MUCH less stressed than I typically am on a day like today, even though I'd think that my primary goal was the one I just typed and chose! In reality, on deeper investigation, it was more like "don't feel bad," and negative goals just don't work anyway. Had to reconfirm to this goal once when I started feeling really exhausted...but when I did, the exhaustion passed, and didn't return....

Did I get as much done as I would on a day filled with plans? Probably not - no hook picked up for the hammock; no pickles or zucchini bread made; no laundry done; no house-cleaning performed.

But on the other hand - after 3 years at our house, Fiora and I found a place to hang the hammock; Fiora helped blow up her first clown-style balloon, and worked with her first batch of clay; I prioritized in a way that allowed me to eat a freshly grilled (and delicious!) lunch with my husband; during Fiora's nap, I wasn't exhausted, and I ended up weeding the garden...and it wasn't even a chore, just something I felt like doing on a lovely day; we went to see dog-owner friends at the local off-leash park (which I hadn't been to in at least 8 months) where the dogs had a ball and Fiora waded deeper than I've ever seen her go and I got to see old friends; and we followed that by a trip to the local lake-beach, at Fiora's insistence, where instead of going in the lake, swimsuit-clad Fiora led us through some forest trails. Such good adventures, such a lovely day....

And intermittently through the day, Fiora lit up when she had chances to be capable. Made up her own song while clearing the breakfast table, took the initiative to throw away the empty soy milk container, almost beat me to putting my own dish away! Insisted her father not help her get rags to clean up her spilt milk at dinner. And (loved this!) washed a whole sink full of dishes while I was prepping dinner! Used soap and rinsed - I've NEVER seen her so intent and full of purpose. No one asked, she just dragged her stool over and started up. :)

So, while I fear that I may take advantage of the blog to post every little thing Fiora does that amazes me...it's such fun to do it!!! I think I don't hear enough of these stories! Though perhaps I'll put a warning like "proud mama moment" or "Celebration" on them....! All the best to everyone.